Yeah, I don't either.
Alot has gone on in the world of Jessica Culver the pass several weeks.
Let us review.
I have a new job. Seems like I say that alot. Same place, I'm just now special. I'm a case manager, working full time. It's fun because we get breakfast sometimes.
And I wear a princess crown. Just because.
I'z still got a baybee in me.
Dottie, as I've labeled him/her, is all like "Hey hey hey!" We go on the 23th to find out if this baby has indoor or outdoor plumbing. At 9:20pm. Almost 3 hours away.
I've got some dedication.
Jules turned 4 on 12/14.
I went in with 30 balloons.
I made cupcakes.
Blair has been reminding me that my breastmilk wasn't very good because he's been sick. We now own a nebulizer!
AND WE WERE REALLY EXCITED!
Then, because he had so much fun at urgent care a few weeks before, he decided to face plant near the stairs & bust his chin open.
That is Blair awaiting his 5 stitches.
Here is Blair after his 5 stitches.
He obviously got over it quickly.
And 6 days later they came out & life went on.
Overall, they are just fucking awesome.
Not long ago I got pulled over for speeding. Jules was angry, yelling "you were just following those other fast cars!" I got off with a warning, which Jules still didn't like.
I hope this isn't a sign of how he feels about authority as he grows.
We are now, like many of you crazy fucks, are getting ready for the holidays. I'z a wrapping gifts.
I tried to be festive & listen to Christmas music, but it sucked because they are full of lies.
Anyone who thinks it's the most wonderful time of the year obviously have never wrapped ill shaped toys. People who create package shapes are assholes. Seriously. "I COULD make this a square, but it's make it a fucking hexagon just to scare with the poor saps who paid too much for this for their kid." That's how I imagine the discussion goes in the toy factory.
Truth be told, I'm pretty tormented this holiday season. I feel like this whole dead baby thing isn't just a thing to deal with, but a roller coaster. Constantly up and down. I don't expect to get over it, but I would like to cope better. I would like to not relive it so often. I'd like, well, some fucking peace. Screw world peace, I'd settle for inner peace. I'm not sure if it's being pregnant or just the fact that my baby died that's making this time of year so hard, but like everything else related to Joel that'll just be another question I'll never know the answer to.
And that's what's going on in my life. I'll try to do better, I really will.