Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The story.

I've not vanished. I've not forgotten. It's just been...rough. A full life update soon. But until then, I'm going to share this.

http://www.bandbacktogether.com/truth-midwife-care-stillbirth

That is me. That is my story. The story that makes me angry, ashamed, and worried all at once.

Angry because Joel died.

Ashamed because I let it happen.

And worried because of any potential backlash I could end up dealing with because people may interpret it wrong. Strangers or close friends. But my note & the editors note are true. I hope people can realize that.

7 comments:

  1. Wow. I feel so speechless, Jess. I am sorry that you were treated so shitty.

    ReplyDelete
  2. No backlash warranted. I hope one day you're able to send this letter. xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree with Angie - no backlash warranted. We aren't the ones in control; we aren't the ones in charge of the major decisions. This isn't your fault. I know I could say it a million times and it won't help you feel better, but I'll say it anyway. Not. Your. Fault.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Late to the post, but I agree - no backlash warranted. You had a TERRIBLE, unforgivable experience in crappy care. It could have been a doctor or a midwife, shitty care is what it is. Unfortunately I think midwives can be like chiropractors - there are very good, skilled, educated, caring ones. And then there are the snakeoil salesmen who are too puffed up with themselves, their politics and their agenda (oh and making money, in some cases) to actually, you know, CARE for their patients. Some are educated and skilled. Some are not. I'm SO unbelievably sorry you got the rawest deal. God, there just aren't words for how awful losing Joel is. You can't beat yourself up, Jess. You asked the right questions, you brought up every symptom that worried you. You TRUSTED the supposed expert to treat you and Joel seriously and take the right steps, and she didn't. She should lose her ability to practice. Plain and simple. I hope someday you have the strength to send that letter because she needs to hear it.The doctors and hospital who lied and misdirected you need to hear it. I wish I could hug you in person. Not that it fixes anything, but damn. So, long distance internet hugs from a stranger.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So I have wandered here to your page from God knows where.

    I too feel like I did not advocate for myself, and I too feel guilty for my sons death. I still have problems advocating when I think I am right in my own medical assessments and that my physician is wrong?

    How do you change this personality flaw? It is so hard to believe and trust that you know what is right for you. I grew up in a generation where doctors and professionals were revered, not to be questioned.

    I know my son would be alive today if I had stood up to my OB. If I had ignored her like she ignored me.

    Thank you for writing that article. It took balls.

    Good luck in this new pregnancy :)

    https://fireworksandrainbows.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  6. So I have wandered here to your page from God knows where.

    I too feel like I did not advocate for myself, and I too feel guilty for my sons death. I still have problems advocating when I think I am right in my own medical assessments and that my physician is wrong?

    How do you change this personality flaw? It is so hard to believe and trust that you know what is right for you. I grew up in a generation where doctors and professionals were revered, not to be questioned.

    I know my son would be alive today if I had stood up to my OB. If I had ignored her like she ignored me.

    Thank you for writing that article. It took balls.

    Good luck in this new pregnancy :)

    https://fireworksandrainbows.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  7. So I have wandered here to your page from God knows where.

    I too feel like I did not advocate for myself, and I too feel guilty for my sons death. I still have problems advocating when I think I am right in my own medical assessments and that my physician is wrong?

    How do you change this personality flaw? It is so hard to believe and trust that you know what is right for you. I grew up in a generation where doctors and professionals were revered, not to be questioned.

    I know my son would be alive today if I had stood up to my OB. If I had ignored her like she ignored me.

    Thank you for writing that article. It took balls.

    Good luck in this new pregnancy :)

    https://fireworksandrainbows.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails