Thursday, April 28, 2011

Dead baby jokes.

They aren't funny.

Being a sub, I actually knew it was just a matter of time, but that didn't help the hit.

Overhearing a punchline, I asked if I'd heard right. He said yes. I asked why he thought that was ok. He told me they were better than racist jokes.

I told him those were bad obviously, but dead baby jokes aren't good either...espiscially since I have a dead baby.

The room, you could hear a pin drop. He stared at me. Others looked at me & back to him, this clueless 10th grader who had just made me want to scream. He continued to stare. I said, "I have a dead baby. My son died. Dead baby jokes are not funny when you have one."

He muttered a "I'm sorry" but it wasn't one that let me know ge was sorry for telling it, but that he was sorry he was stuck in this moment with a dead baby mom.

The rest if my day wasn't fun. I mainly sat quietly the rest of the day. My kidding around, good time spirit is gone. I did my job &, well, survived.

I hope that kid actually felt bad. I hope he felt like shit. If not now, I hope he does someday. I hope he looks back & can understand how this, even in a small amount, how that 10 seconds effected me. And how it's now seared in my memory.

I feel empty, but at the same time I'm full of an anger & sadness that makes me want to scream, cry, & break things.

1 comment:

  1. For some reason I am having trouble commenting through my blogger account. Just wanted to say I am so sorry you had to deal with that. I had a student make a dead baby joke the other day, and I wish I had said something, but I just ignored it because I felt like I would completely lose it. It's so wrong that we have to deal with that on top of our grief.

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