Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Ornament Swap

I recently took part in an ornament swap for, well, dead babies. There is a much nicer way to put that I'm sure, but you should all know I'm blunt & I believe in owning the term. So, there it is.

Anyway, the swap was called "Remembering Together." Mine, well, sucked. I'm not crafty. I hope mine wasn't a complete disappointment for the parents of the little girl whose memory I made it in, as it was made with respect & care. The one I received, for lack of better words, was fantabulous. I couldn't have hoped for anything for beautiful. Thank you, Jennifer.



I'm heartbroken for Jennifer & her family. They lost their first born son, Kai, on June 16th of this year. Like Joel, he was full term. A reminder that while I was off in happy land after Blair's safe arrival on June 10th, someone else was experiencing tragedy & starting the hell we know so well after we survived May 28th 2009. Much like the person across the hall in the hospital on that same day, who had a healthy baby while I delivered Joel...stillborn. It's a reminder that I wish they didn't have to be a part of. Rainbow baby peeps, for each happy family let's remember the ones who just started this, well, shitty road. For each eventual happy ending, someone else is starting a nightmare. It's a cycle I wish would never have to happen again.

Thank you to Jennifer & everyone else who took part in this swap. Very kind & I feel special to have been a part of it.


  1. Glad you liked it, Jessica. It was an honor to make the ornament in your son Joel's memory. A blessed holidays to you and yours. <3

  2. That ornament is freaking awesome! Puts the one I made to shame!

  3. That ornament is freaking awesome! Puts the one I made to shame!

  4. dana_wood_99@yahoo.comDecember 25, 2010 at 11:29 PM

    I went to visit my dead babies' graves recently to place two cool Christmas trees for them. As I was leaving (with my brand new Rainbow baby in my arms) I saw a couple crying with that look of raw, ravaging pain on their faces. I approached them and asked if it was their baby they had lost; the answer was yes. My heart broke for them and like you said; it made me remember that this nightmare lives on for ourselves and countless others. When I asked how long it had been, it took my breath away because they lost their baby the same day my Rainbow baby had been born. Your post reminded me so much of that day.



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