Saturday, November 6, 2010

Alive, that's me!

Hi, peeps.

I've been busy.

By busy, I mean lazy as all hell. Tired, too. But, well, mainly lazy. Plus I've been trying to get pictures of all 12 of my cats for an upcoming blog. Hell of a task there.

If you hate me for being lazy, would you believe me if I told you we were invaded by gnomes?


THEY EXIST! And they nurse. Weird.

Anyway. I wanted to check in & let people know I'm alive. We all are, & we're all well. Tired, busy, cranky, & sometimes bitchy (that's just me actually), but we are all well.

But hey, since I'm actually here, lets take a viewer question! Yes, I said viewer...because in my crazy mind I'm on like TV or something.

This one comes from a long time stalker, but new to admitting it. Welcome new but not really new stalker! And it's not really one, but it was one comment so let's not get fucking picky here, OK?

What other kinds of neighbors do you have?
Crazy. So crazy they seem to make the camo tarp woman seem normal. On the other side of our house we have Jim. I call him Jim because that's his name. He's a hermit. And I'm fairly sure a hoarder. He let's his yard stay a jungle, he has told Adam that he purposely kills his grass & just lays out that hamster bedding in his yard. His yard is so, uh, fruitful that in the summer you can't tell there is a fence, it's just covered in greenery. He's a "doctor" of something, my guess is insanity. He use to be a professor at the local university. Now he's just the crazy guy next door to us. He also has chains & locks on his gate. And two huge ass German Shepherds. They look like they'd eat children, but they are actually insanely sweet. Kinda sad really.

What kind of music do you listen to?
Hall & Oates. And no, I'm not joking. I rock out to that shit.

Do you like to read?
If it's juicy gossip, totally. If it's funny, usually. If it's deep & meaningful, another usually. If it's educational or Republican, no.

Do you follow sports? Does Adam?
No. Never been a sports person. I don't care to see dudes play with balls. Adam doesn't follow anything. Truth is, I'd never be able to marry someone who did watch people shoot hoopies or make goalies or downies or whatever the hell else there may be. There is only one time I care about sports & that is when Marshall University is playing. See, I live in the town with that place. Everyone looooove Marshall. But not me. So I root for whoever they are playing when they are playing here, so they loose for fucking up my travel plans through town. Last time they had a big game here, I hate to go out at 3am for medication for Blair & the streets were closed off, because the city was cleaning them to make people think they take care of this town. So it added another like 15 minutes to my trip, when I have a baby at home who needs medication. And the next day when the team lost that game, I laughed.

Follow up to your fall in the 'mart story? You know, the one where you fell forward, defying the laws of physics (sarcasm)?
Oh goodness. That shitty store called WALMART gave me a bullshit denial. How did they deny it? They said they were off the hook because the manager went to see where I fell & he could find nothing in the floor that I could have fallen on. Mind you, it was HOURS after my fall before he knew where I fell & by the time he knew where it had happened the floor was RIPPED UP because it was being remodeled. So how he was suppose to look for something where it no longer existed, I don't know. I'm fully convinced they think I just threw myself on the ground since I, like you said new stalker, defied the laws of physics.

BUT! This has given me a new, WalMart free life. After that bullshit, & the fact that no employee even helped my pregnant ass off the tile, I decided to finally accept that WalMart is an evil company who doesn't give a damn about anything. So I've not shopped at a WalMart since that incident. It means I can no longer do my shopping in one place & I pay more for some things, but I don't feel like a dirty whore when I'm done shopping, so that's a plus.

Of course, I'm still getting the short end of the shopping trip. For example, I took this picture at Target on October 26th.


That says "use by 10/16/10." So at that point is the milk actually sour cream or cottage cheese? Just something to ponder.

And, also courtesy of Target, I must wonder...


What exactly is one doing that they need a hand towel that reads, "naughty?"

I'm going to go chase down 9 more cats now.


  1. Oh my goodness...Your blog is HILARIOUS! I am totally following you! I look forward to ready more!


  2. I realllly hope you buy Adam the naughty towel for Christmas. :)



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