Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Why I need a house keeper.

People say stay at home mom's don't need a house keeper. Part of my "job" is to cook, clean, & do laundry. I disagree with that. I keep the kids alive & happy, that's my job.

My word as to why I can't do it myself not good enough for you?

How about pictures?!

Laundry fail.

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What's that, you're asking? Dental floss.

As a mom, Jules was playing with dental floss. I floss, sue me. Anyway, to keep him from doing who knows what with the floss or wasting it (seriously, I floss), I put it in my pocket.

Then, as a mom still, I was holding Blair. Then he peed on me. A penis, if not correctly placed in a diaper, will pee where it wants. Today, it wanted to pee on my pants. OK.

So I changed pants. Then, later, I did laundry. But I didn't remember my floss.

Which leads us to...well, this.

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My floss container is almost empty. It was brand new. So that tells you how much I had to cut free in order to dry the clothes. Damn me for flossing.

So fuck all of you people who think I should be cooking, cleaning, & keeping the kids alive all day. I can only multitask so much. Facebook & the kids keep me too busy to worry about that other shit. I'm getting a house keeper who does laundry & dishes.

13 comments:

  1. For a split second I thought that was gum in the first photo. Hey, count your blessings, at least it wasn't a cat ;)

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  2. I floss too, with the good kind even. It would super suck to lose the whole thing. Damn dryers.

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  3. LMAO! I love you. At least it wasn't a freakin' yellow crayon (DH did this to me!) or an entire pack of cigarettes (DH did this about 10 years ago).

    I'm lucky to keep the kids alive and MAYBE runt he dishwasher or do laundry AT ALL. I dont' have time to dig through pockets. Sheesh. I'm totally with you on the housekeeper. Only, I'm not joking. Wish I was rich!

    I told DH I wanted to be a SAHM with a nanny, a cook and a hosuekeeper. heeeeeeeee.

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  4. I had two elk teeth in my dryer yesterday. DH went hunting in Wyoming, brought back his hunt clothes, put them in the dryer. Voila..two elk teeth were in there yesterday evening. He brought them home to see if I wanted him to send them off to make jewelry for me. Uh...no. b

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  5. I feel your pain. Lately I have been wondering if Alice from the Brady Bunch is available. She cooked, cleaned, did laundry, hell I think she even washed the dog in one episode. I could totally use an Alice.

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  6. I feel your pain. Lately I have been wondering if Alice from the Brady Bunch is available. She cooked, cleaned, did laundry, hell I think she even washed the dog in one episode. I could totally use an Alice.

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  7. I feel your pain. Lately I have been wondering if Alice from the Brady Bunch is available. She cooked, cleaned, did laundry, hell I think she even washed the dog in one episode. I could totally use an Alice.

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  8. love it. you always make me laugh. thank you. i think about going back to work just so i can get a housekeeper. chores suck.

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  9. Oh, I once dried GUM. Not only did it get on one thing in that load, I thought it wasn't in my dryer. I was wrong. Next load? Gum. It was awful. Worse thing was it got on my new shirt, right between my boobs. I got it off, but if you look closely you can totally see a spot where something once was. I figure if I'm ever asked, I'll just look at them weird & ask, "why are you looking at my boobs?!"

    The husband actually called a local house cleaning place around my birthday. He was going to have them come in & clean as my surprise. But they wouldn't even do the things I'd really like done...like the folding & the dishes loaded. I'm seriously going to work an extra day a month to hire someone to come in & do my house every couple weeks. I'll work even ANOTHER if I can get her to bath the dogs a couple times a month.

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  10. Today I washed pants with money in the pocket. Folding clothes was like a scavenger hunt to get it all back. I did. :)

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  11. I had a dark purple crayon sneak into my dryer at the beginning of this week. It pretty much sent me over the edge that day! I feel your pain girl!
    Make some of Paula Deen's Velveeta Peanut Butter Fudge! The sugar coma will make you feel so much better!!

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  12. If you DO get a housekeeper, might I suggest one who DOESN'T Floss LMAO

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  13. For crayons (had this happen many many times) if you rewash the clothes using baking soda instead of laundry soap it should get most of it, if not all of it out. The first time I discovered this was when I had bought my girls a whole new wardrobe and I was washing it with some pants they had worn that day. Little did I know that there was a black, red, and yellow crayon in their pockets. I was so mad I was crying. Then I did some research and I was desperate enough to try it. I was so shocked because all but 3 things came out perfect, and a second wash took care of those 3 things.

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