Friday, September 3, 2010

iCulver.

It's been a crazy couple weeks.

OK, not crazy. I've done crazy, this shit isn't as crazy as I've been through before. But here is a good time run down of the going ons.

-I have a new lover. The husband knows about it, & he's getting more use to it. The truth is, he just can't do the same things for me that my lover does. My lover came at a hell of a price tag...yeah, I paid for him. Don't judge me.

My lover?

An iPhone.

Hi, I'm a little late on this iPhone thing. Excuse me while I gush.

HOLY SHIT WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS AMAZING OVERPRICED PIECE OF AWESOMENESS?!

Yes, I wanted an overpriced status symbol, so people could say, "she's in debt & living outside her means."

Yes, yes I am. Thanks.

But judge away, I won't notice because I have a fucking iPhone. I mean really, what can I say about this thing that hasn't already been said? I'm in love. It's in a pink & purple case. Holy shit, this this is awesome. I have apps. I can check my email. The only damn thing I always get confused about? Making a phone call. And does this thing turn off?

Who gives a flying fuck...why would I have it turned off anyway?! It was worth buying it from some dude in too tight pants who looked like David Cook, only without any shred of any signs of "cute" David Cook may have. I figure the dude who works at the Target deli who looks like Ryder Strong doesn't stop me from buying popcorn, why let David Cook-ish stop me from an iPhone?

-I started school. I have a class that is required that has hard work...such as printing of documents & "practicing" writing our names on them. Seriously. I have a degree & I can dress myself, why the hell am I sitting through this? Oh yeah, you know how you hear about her "permanent record" in school & you laugh? Well, it's real. And I have to request mine to do a case study on myself. Because there is nothing I want more in life than to look back at all the shit in my life. There is a dude that is scary, I was seriously scared of him. He wants to be a teacher? Oh, he bragged about belonging to the NRA. And that was after I was already scared of him.

Of course, something weird happened this week. As we were in the elevator (we being fellow students), people started talking about labor & delivery. Us women do that, it's a bonding thing. I jump in when someone says they only had a 5 hour labor with the fact that I was jealous, mine were 24 hours plus. Then, without missing a beat, this girl with the 5 hour labor says, "Yeah, mine would have been even faster if she'd been alive."

The air was sucked out of the elevator. Everyone got quiet, wishing they weren't trapped in this small space for 6 floors. Me, I blurt out, "Really?!" like a fucking excited freak. Someone else mutters "that's so sad..." but I drown them out with the news of, "my 2nd son...he was dead, too! How far along were you?" Her daughter died right before her due date, she planned her daughters funeral on her due date. I tell her about Joel, when he died. When we get to the ground floor, everyone in the elevator with us go around the long way to get out of the building instead of the shorter way. I guess following the weird dead baby moms out while talking about baby funerals, still birth, & who had an autopsy wasn't their bag of tea. For the next 4 minutes, as we walked to our cars, we both spoke fast. I felt like I was normal in those 4 minutes. We talked about things no one else can understand unless you've had it happen. At the end I told her I hated to sound crazy, but it was amazing to find someone else in real life who knows exactly what I'm talking about & who doesn't bat an eye about the topic. She agreed. Hopefully we can talk more.

Of course, that discussion came at a cost. The rest of the evening was a long one. Even though it was nice to have someone who knew everything that came along with the whole dead baby thing, it sure brings back those memories. I zoned out in my next class, the only thing other than thinking about Joel & everything related to him that I could pay attention to was the overhead projector smelling like a hair straighter (if you use one, you know that smell). The rest of the night...it was rough. I realized I never even kissed him. A "to do" list really should be given to people in hospitals when they have a stillbirth. Because if you don't think about something when you only have the one chance, it really sucks looking back & realizing you never even thought about it. Just one of a few regrets I have. I should make a list of those things sometime, too.

On a related note, the same night, we got the official word that our insurance will pay nothing relating to Joel. The are considering it "medical research" which they do not cover. I don't remember signing up for a research study, but I guess they decided I did. There are no more appeals, not more letters, no more calls. Just $7000 of CC debt that would have been paid or even never existed if he was alive. Can't take your baby home...& enjoy your home until you loose it to sinking medical bill debt!

Yeah, it was a rough night.

-The week realllly sucked later though. I took Blair to the doctor for his once again infected eye (yay, blocked tear duct!), then ran to the bank before going home. Things were fine until I turned into the bank...then the car wouldn't turn anymore. I ran onto the curb actually because it just wouldn't turn. I looked down at my dash & several lights were on. I couldn't turn my wheel. I was stuck. Even the AC didn't work. I pulled straight ahead into a parking spot. I turned the car off, then back on. Because that should fix everything. Well, it didn't. I eventually called my parents to rescue me & the kids. My dad looked & said it looked like the power steering belt had broke. Got it home, called a shop, got a $75-ish quote. That was after I used my awesome car part vocab. Like when I spoke to Mike & tried to tell him I needed a belt. But of course I couldn't think of the word "belt" so I found myself making a circle motion with my right hand while saying, "you know...one of those loopy things." And this was after I talked myself up before calling. I came up with exactly what I'd say so it sounded like I knew what I was talking about. I decided I'd say something like, "Yeah, I needed to check on a price for some steering belts." That sounds awesome if you say it in a laid back, kinda manly way. When they answered though I panicked & said, "HI! I need to talk to someone...I need like...um....I need my car fixed, it's a thing for the steering that will make it turn." *sigh* I did NOT sound like I knew what I was doing.

And, of course, while I was on hold I practiced my speech again. I gave the same shitty one that screams, "I'm a girl...can I get pink car parts?!" But back to Milk. When he finally figured out what I needed, he looked it up & told me it depended on what kind of belt I wanted. Did I was "just a belt" or did I want a "GOOD belt." I finally said, "how about the belt that won't leave my ass stuck on the side of the road in 100 degree weather with my kids?" He laughed & quoted me prices for both. Dropped it off that evening, the next day we were picking it up. Life, it was good.

Until 10am the next morning when we got the call that actually, the thingy the belt attaches to is warped & the rod thingy it's on is worn & loose. That'll cost around $500 to repair. And that's the good news. That rod thingy? It goes into the engine & is attached to something called a "crankshft." What is that? I don't fucking know, but basically it's the brain of the engine. To change that out, you have to take the engine apart & put it back together again. In some cases, a new engine is cheaper than that repair.

I cried. Alot. I could pay my house payment for 6 months for what the repair of this thing is going to be.

But things are looking up now & I'm less stressed. My chest doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did before. Yay me.

-Remember my crazy ass neighbor? Well, she's still crazy. And angry. Long story short, they came into & up our drive way the other day to weed whack. They have this bad habit of coming into our fenced property & it freaks out dogs out & eventually someone is going to get bit or I'm going to punch them. Either way, we're responsible. Adam went over to tell them to not do it anymore, but no one answered so he left a note. Not a bad note, just a note saying for her to tell whoever does her lawn work to not to it again, that it upsets our dogs. Of course, he did also add the line that he doesn't go onto other peoples property to cut things or to remove her "ridiculous tarp" so he would appreciate the same respect.

I mean, seriously, it is ridiculous.

That was on a Friday. By Monday, we had a letter in our mail box. What really pissed me off was that our mail carrier won't bring us packages or something sent here by mistake if something doesn't get sent to our PO box, those get send back, but she'll drop off that letter? And I found it hysterical that she mailed a letter when the woman lives right beside us. I couldn't figure out what to do with it, but then it hit me. I wrote return to sender & sent it back to her. :) Of course after she got it back she walked it over to our mail box anyway. So I laughed & loudly announced outside that I wasn't reading shit & that I was throwing it away. Looking back, I wish I'd sent it back. Again & again. As I ripped it up, I did see a piece where she said she was reporting us for harassment. Um, OK. Good for her. Because the city takes care of that? And a note where the meanest thing in it is the term "ridiculous tarp" is harassing? She's the one who kept sending us that damn letter back! Also saw that she has a right to come up our driveway to weed whack in the fence since it's her fence. Of course, it's a fucking chainlink fence...if you are that worried about it, why not cut it on YOUR side instead of in my yard, while complaining about my dog barking at you because you're in our yard & trespassing? Also threatened to lure any of our pets she can so she can turn them over to animal control. That's a random, lame threat. Kinda sounds, well, harrasing to me. But what do I know?

So I've been enjoying being a bitch on my own property. Like today, when we rocked out to an Elmo DVD. I guess she didn't appreciate the song "sunny days" because she slammed her windows while fussing. Or last night at 1am when I went outside to test out my dog whistle app. It was suppose to make dogs stop barking, but I guess when you use it when they aren't barking, it has the opposite effect. So her dogs were bothered & went nuts. Of course, it was nothing compared to how aggravated they get when clumsy me pushed my cars "panic" button when locking or unlocking my car. Silly me! Adam will be putting up a 300 watt security light on the side of our house this weekend, so that extra bright light should help me be able to see what I'm doing. The lights should really light up all of our lives. At least it will if you're on the left side of my house. Wonder what is on the left side of my house? Hmmm...those may be bedroom windows. I don't know, I don't live in that house.

I'm an evil shrew.

I'm off to bed. With my iPhone. I'll be updating the kids blog tomorrow. I've got a couple things for it, so stay tuned. Also plan another blog here for this weekend, so yay!

Also, my friends are still looking for donations for Timmy. Read my post about it here.

Also like to direct people to my new friend, Jen. Jen is started up a cooking blog. Not a fancy cooking blog that will make you feel like you suck. Instead, she's doing it like many of us do it, she's just got the ball to admit it's all trial & effort. So if you'd like to see some creations from her & her entertainment as well, head on over there. The Self Taught Bad Chef...seems like a place that could do well. So start stalking now, so we can all say we knew her "back in the day."

And for those who asked about how I get my stat info & am able to see who searched what, it's from a neat little program you can read about & get here if you'd like. There are others, but that's Jess approved.

Questions? Comments? Leave them. Feel free to also follow me on facebook or twiter. I like friends. I'm lame like that, but you also get all the late breaking news, fast.

See you peeps soon.

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