Sunday, August 8, 2010

Some answers.

While still accepting questions, I decided with my free time to post some answers. I know people are waiting on this, so who am I to deny them?

Ok, you know that awesome area rug we both have? When you vacuum it up and down, does your vacuum cleaner get hard to push? If I go side to side, the long way, it is fine.. if I try to go up and down, the short way, it is like my vacuum gets stuck.

That is about as random as I get... (But I really do want an answer!)

See, people really do stalk me. This person peeks in my windows! As far as the rug, I did have that same problem. Now that I have my overpriced boyfriend known as the Dyson, not so much. But like I told you about that rug, my parents picked it. So I'm guessing it's just the evil holding the vacuum back, so when they come to my house they can think about how dirty it is because my damn rug fights being vacuumed.

Just my theory though.

Where do all of your cats sleep at night..?

Sadly we don't have an extra room in our house to make into a kitty condo, so they basically are squatters anywhere they see fit. One or sometimes 2 share our bed. One sleeps with Jules, which is weird because it's the one he abuses. A couple enjoy staying outside as much as possible so they stay out some nights. Everyone else just grabs a pile of folded towels in the laundry basket or a pillow on the couch to bed down with. The question really should have been where us humans sleep since we're out numbered.

Do you sleep on the right or left side of the bed, or do you claim the bed and make the husband sleep on the floor?

When you're looking at the bed from the foot, my side is the right side. I've always claimed that side, even when we were dating (read: have lots of sex). He didn't get a vote & continues to whine to this day. He will never get me to change sides until maybe we get a new mattress. I imagine his side smells like icky boy. He does sleep in the floor sometimes...but that's his other boss's doing, Jules. I'd feel bad about that, but I'm usually knocked the fuck out in the middle of our bed at the point.

What color is your mailbox?

It's green. I wanted it to match our house. Funny thing is? I hate green. Like...hate it. But I ended up with a green house, & therefore all these green accents. Our mail box is only for decoration though, we get our mail at the post office now. We got tired of our cunt of a mail lady not wanting to deliver our mail because of our attack dog, Buddy. Sure, our mailbox is on the outside of our 6 foot fence & is like 3 feet away from said fence, yet she was scared of our dog. And the USPS told me they couldn't make her do her job. That was a quote. So now we go to the post office & she is constantly trying to tie our mail box shut. Just to drive her nuts, we untie it every time she does it. We're mature.

What type of socks do you wear?

I only wear socks in the winter. But this is actually a very good question to make me admit my shame...I wear my husbands socks. We have to share socks. Why? Because my feet are so huge I can't find womens socks big enough to fit my feet. I'm a size 9 1/2 or so. Those socks that say up to size 10? Lies. They seriously expect the same socks to fit a woman with size 5 feet & size 10 feet? Suuuure. I use to be able to find "extra large sizes" socks for women a few years ago. Not now. So now I'm stuck buying mens socks. But I try to look on the bright side, no special sorting of socks & that way I can throw away the socks with holes in them since the husband never does.

Have you ever figured out a rubix cube.

Um, no. I've never even tried. I know my limits. And I know my insanity. I'd end up screaming & crying before throwing it against the wall & announcing that my life sucks. I don't deal well with stress. Even stress from a cube.

Has your mom seen the new baby? Is your mom still as crazy as a bat in the belfry?

She has. They didn't see him until he was about a month old. In turn, none of my family wanted to visit & see him. Why? Because they don't want to deal with my mothers wrath of "I can't believe you saw him before I did" even when she was choosing not to see him. See why my mom acts like this? Because she can. Anyway, very little interest was showed in Blair. I've interacted a couple times with them since then, but again very little attention has been paid to the little one. That's fine really, if I want to crazy my kids up I can do it without her help. And in case it's not obvious, yes, they are still crazy as a bat in the belfry. I've actually never heard that term, but I'm sure it fits. Of course it's amusing to me that they hide this from the extended family & act like things are peachy now. I've heard all about how Blair is, how they tell my grandparents how he's not fussy & sleeps all the time & blah blah blah...none of it is true. Not even close. Good try though. I'm sure I'll get to burst that bubble eventually, if I already haven't. As much as I hate drama (well, drama involving me), I hate keeping up appearances even more.

Oh, & to show priorities, here is a cute story. My dad & I had a couple joint credit card accounts. Had them for years, since I was in college. A few days after Blair was born, tried to use one to pay at the pump for gas & it was inactive. Tried the other for shits & giggles, got the same. Pulled my credit report & both were closed by the primary on the account which was my dad of course. The date they were closed? June 10th. So while I'm being cut open at the hospital, my dad was at home canceling shared credit accounts. I don't care, but I am annoyed that a closed account leaves a somewhat icky spot on my credit. But I think WHEN it was done sure says alot about your concerns while your grandchild is being born & your daughter is in surgery. I guess that's why no one could answer any calls from us that morning, he was on the other line breaking up with me credit wise. Lame. And to not even have the balls to let us know at any point? Super lame.

Haha, what do you do when a three year old thinks it's hilarious to go around telling everybody that he goes pee in the shower?

Be a tad embarrassed, but then realize it could be way worse. You could have a 2 year old who goes around pointing to his crotch & telling people, "it's a big one!" Being bad parents, we laughed hysterically the first time he did this after getting out of the pool & was naked. Now he just goes around randomly telling us "I got a big one!" & pointing. Then take joy in knowing you can tell his future wife that story one day.

Does your egg donor (mother) read your blog?

"What blog?" That's what the response was once when I mentioned it a couple months ago. She knows it exist, she knows they did a news story on Joel & stillbirth & mentioned my blog...but she's never bothered to come here & read it. Maybe they know better, maybe they just aren't interested, maybe they just assume it sucks & isn't worth their time. They miss out on my wit & talent in the real life world, so I'm not surprised they wouldn't bother it on the interwebz world, too. They think anything online is a complete joke, so I'm sure they put my blog & related things in the category of complete joke.

Do you guys plan on have any more super cute babies?

Adam is officially done. I'm unofficially done. As much as it sounds nice to have another baby, because I'm nuts like that, there are just too many things that stand in the way of that. For example, our fears & paranoia or feeling as though we're tempting fate. Plus, for another baby we need another house. And for another house, I need to be working for a couple years again. So even if we do, we're looking at like 3 years before I go back to work then a couple years of work, so at least 5 years from now. Then there is the fact that I hate doctors & never want to stay in a hospital again. And I don't want to drive a van. Those last two are kinda petty reasons, but they are reasons. Give me 5 years & I'll reevaluate, never say never I guess. But it's unlikey. In 5 years chances are I'll like working, having kids of that age, & sleeping more. So maybe it'll be more like 10 years from now when this Paragaurd expires.

Or maybe we'll have a birth control failure.

...just thinking about that makes me need to drink. Heavily. My midwife knows we're so paranoid she checked my uterus 3 times before inserting it & is checking it in a month instead of just 4 months from now to make sure it's good & effective.

Oh, & hi Annette the new person at my blog!

So about that other kid thing--or even if you don't have other kids--if you need a bigger house, you can always have the one behind us. I do have the key, you know. I have offered our babysitting services before, as long as you're ok with Lee trying to give them beer.

Where do you think I'm planning on moving? I'm totally serious, we're moving up there with you guys in a few years. We can't now, but we WILL. And Lee is fine, as long as it's good beer. No Bud Light or anything like that. Eww.

I tried to figure out a rubix cube and got mad and threw it across the room, where it shattered into a bazillion pieces. Just thought you would want to know.

Did you then stomp on & piss on the pieces before lighting them on fire? What, that's just me?

What do you do for fun? Do you have friends?

(I confess... I am usually a quiet stalker of yours - but recently I shared your blog on my facebook profile, and now feel guilty because I didn't ask you first)

For fun, I do this. Yes, I'm that lame. Personal fun time is limited to going to pee by myself. That's rare & fun when it happens. Another person & I have discussed starting up a Birth Network locally, . I do indeed have friends. A few. I'm selective. People have to be, well, alot like me. Depending on what you think about me, the fact that those people are few & far between may be a good thing.

And feel free to add me anywhere! I don't care about being asked, as long as you say good things about me. If you're going to call me names, please leave a link so I can mock you at a later time. But as long as it's good stuff, it's cool with me. :)

Maybe it'll help me get 200 followers. Which means...ANOTHER CAKE!
Any new questions will be answered here as well.


  1. I just wanted to say hi, I'm a new follower and a dead baby club member. ; ) I love your way with words and your sense of humor. Cheers!

  2. Do you guys plan on have any more super cute babies?

  3. So about that other kid thing--or even if you don't have other kids--if you need a bigger house, you can always have the one behind us. I do have the key, you know. I have offered our babysitting services before, as long as you're ok with Lee trying to give them beer.

  4. I totally hate the sizing on socks. I HATE it, I am on the other side of the spectrum, with small feet and they are all too big, and go up way too high, even though they're not supposed to. AND, I tried to figure out a rubix cube and got mad and threw it across the room, where it shattered into a bazillion pieces. Just thought you would want to know.



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