Thursday, March 11, 2010

Facebook status updates tell my life story.

Hi there, how are you? Me? Well, I'm something. I'm bad at starting stories, so I figured I'd steal my recent facebook status to help me out.

Thursday I have an ultrasound with a specialist. My mom was to watch Jules so I could go, but since telling her he can't stay the night because she still gives him bottles like we've asked her to stop doing for months, she is no longer talking to me & ignoring my messages. Adam has to take off work so I can go to this ...important appointment an hour away. So my 2 year old getting bottles>avoid dead babies. Rant over.

Now, you must be confused. Or maybe not, I'm not a mind reader, but I'll explain just in case you are.

Last week we had a family dinner out. The cousins wife & I came up with the idea to get ourselves together on Friday, then decided to get my parents & the cousins parents in on the adventure as well.

Now, if you know stories of my mom you may be biting your lip & looking around the room like, "Ummm...wonder how this all worked out?"

It worked out great. Life was fine. Dinner was good. Well, for the most part. Nothing major though, so that was good. After dinner, we went back to my moms house for dessert.

You can go back to biting your lip & looking around the room awkwardly if you'd like. This would be the time.

Jules went to sleep on the car ride over. We take him in & eventually Adam lays him on the couch. My mom had wanted to lay him in the bed, but we were hoping he'd wake back up. To not only play, but because it was like 7:30 so we knew if he slept now it's be awful getting him to bed later. Plus, we knew if he stayed asleep it'd be a awkward event when we left & didn't want him to stay all night like my mom would suggest. I missed out on whatever words transpired, but my dad & Adam had agreed that they should leave Jules' coat on. If he woke up & wanted it off he'd take it off. If not, we would be leaving soon if he didn't want up anyway & we didn't want to try to wrestle it back on him. Apparently, even though Adam & my dad said that to my mom, she went on with her thoughts of taking it off of him, to which Adam told her to leave it on. She didn't speak to him the rest of the night. Oh well.

There were a few awkward moments...OK, just one actually. A good time was being had, talking with my mom & my aunt, when my mom didn't like what I said & snapped at me, finger waving & telling me to "shut up" so she could say what I'd just said herself. Again, oh well. I eventually excuse myself from that drama, & go in the living room with the husband & the cousins wife.

Apparently, I missed a fun time in one of the upstairs rooms. The kids were all pretending to go to bed, & as soon as the light went off, my 27 month old son started demanding a bottle & when he was told no, he started asking for my parents.

Back story. We stopped giving Jules bottles months ago. By the time he was 18 months, he was taking a bottle of water at night but after about a month of that it was done & over. However, at the parents house that wasn't the case. I'd told my mom that we were stopping bottles around the same time, she said OK. Well, a few months go by & I never think of it again. Until one day we're in the kitchen, getting ready to leave him, & they make a bottle. We explain that we stopped bottles some time ago, my dad said he understood & that they'd stop them, too. A couple weeks later, we found out they hadn't stopped. A knock out, drag out fight ensued, which left my mother not talking to me for a week or so. But once we did, she told me the bottles were done.

Yay, life is good.

Lies.

A couple weeks ago, Jules had stayed & when he came home he was all about bottles. I finally asked him & he told me my mom gave them to him. I told her that, she said they didn't. I knew better. The next day, she confessed that he would get bottles "sometimes" because they felt bad telling him no.

*sigh*

Since then it's gone back & forth, with her telling me she hadn't given him one when he's been over there, but his constant demand for them said otherwise. We knew better. And Friday night, our toddler showed us.

He decided that he was tired again, which sent him into an unholy fit of yelling, crying, & scaring the other kids with his fit. What was the thing he wanted more than life itself? "BOTTLE!" What was cute was that my mom tried to say at one point, "Oh, he's asking for a ball." He kept pointing to the cabinets & crying for one. My mom eventually tells him, "Your mom & dad are here, so you can't have one tonight." Not "you can't have one" or even "your mom & dad say no," but "you can't have one tonight."

We're annoyed because there is no reason he should be having a fit for a bottle. And it's also embarrassing as all hell in front of family, who all know he's too old for a bottle. I know these people better than to think that they think we're bad people or anything like that because of our sons tantrum, but it shouldn't have happened. He cried all the way home for a bottle, cried when we got home for a bottle. Was up until midnight for a bottle.

I was so angry at bottles, I wanted to dig our old ones out to throw them away because Blair is going to get a bottle when hell freezes over after this incident.

At that moment, I know that this has to get under control. I made the decision that night that I wouldn't go to my 7am ultrasound for my gallbladder pain on the following Monday because the plan had been for Jules to stay all night with the parents. Knowing the next night he'd be home screaming for a bottle just made that thought unbearable. I told Adam that until we get him to a point where it's not a concern anymore, that he just can't stay the night & that I'll have to change all of my appointments for times when I wouldn't have to make everyone get up at the crack of dawn. I knew my parents would be annoyed.

I call the next day, no one answers. OK. The next day, Sunday, comes. The plan had been that Sunday evening he'd go to their house & then Monday after my appointment I'd pick him up. I hated the convo I knew I was about to have because while I was annoyed at the situation, I wasn't mad & I didn't want drama. I tell my mom what we'd talked about, that Jules could come hang out & play all day long, but until we get things under control over the next few weeks, he wouldn't be staying all night. She got off the phone with me right away. I asked her to call me later that night to plan for Jules coming over Monday to visit. She said she would. She never did.

Monday comes, I call several times on the house line & her cell phone. No one ever answers. I take a shower & my mom calls. I had Adam answer since I obviously can't talk on a cell phone while in the shower & he had what sounded like an amusing exchange with my mom. Not wearing her glasses, she'd accidentally selected my number on the caller id to call back. So calling my phone was a total mistake. I guess when he asked if he should have me call her back she just said no & that was about it. I call when I get out. No answer.

I call again that night & leave a message that went something like, "Hi, I'm just leaving a message to have proof that I called you. I guess you'll call me when you want to talk, so I guess I'll wait & talk to you later. Bye." Later comes & goes & I realize what I mentioned in my facebook post...that Thursday I have an important ultrasound. It's an hour away with a specialist to make sure the baby's organs are all developing well & to rule out any problems with them & any blood flow to them. If there was a scan to be worried about, it'd be this one.

So I call again. I leave another message, reminding her of my appointment Thursday afternoon & telling her I really need to know if Jules can come visit them Thursday, because otherwise Adam will have to take off work & when it's a situation like this, he's required to give advance notice & find a sub to make sure someone works for him. I ask her to call me by Tuesday afternoon because Adam will need to request the day off. Isn't like we can just wait & see what happens, this place books up fast. I've had this appointment since January. If I change the date now, I may not be able to get it at all since it has to be done at certain weeks in pregnancy.

Tuesday comes & goes without anything from them. I took the "actions speak louder than words" approach & decided that was a "no" & Adam put in for the time off & found a sub.

Hence my feelings reflected in the facebook posting above...the aggravation of us not letting him stay the night over the bottle issue somehow worked out to be more important than this appointment for the new baby on Thursday. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm entitled to my feelings, right? Of course it doesn't help that my mother once asked me if grandparents love all their grandkids the same, then told me how she didn't think she's love any of them as much as she loves Jules, but she wouldn't show it so not to worry. I figured once another baby was here she'd get over it. Hmmm.

I did actually talk to her today for all of you waiting on the edge of your seats. She talked for about 30 second, told me that they'd been sick "for days, since Sunday" & she couldn't talk. Mind you, Sunday she was fine & wanted Jules to stay all night. And Monday she spoke to Adam & sounded fine then as well. I mean, it's possible they got sick. Yeah, sure. But if they were sick Monday it would have been nice to get a call since they were suppose to be our childcare for a very important appointment this week. I guess they did the "she'll figure it out" approach. This appointment was known about for months, there was even talk of my dad driving me to it at one point. It wasn't like it was forgotten.

Of course, tonight I got another call from the cousins wife (calling her that makes it sound like I don't like her, but I promise I like her alot) & she left a message since I missed the call. Peeps on the facebook are related to me. She'd heard from peeps about my post talking about how Adam had to take off work & such, so she had to be talking about the above post. So part of me wonders if it's gotten back to the parents yet, if it will at all. Sure, that whole "bottles>dead baby" thing was kinda harsh, but that was actually my attempt to be witty, for lack of a better word, in this situation. Of course, I'm sure if there is an issue if it gets back to them it will be more of a "I can't believe you tell people things like that" more than what I actually said.

I have to admit, my first reaction was "oh shit, I don't want to deal with what could come of this." But then I realized it's a little late, I'm entitled to my opinion, & I share way too much with the world. So consider this a warning...if you interact with me in any way, shape, or form, I may blog or otherwise announce my feelings & opinions about that. That's what makes me neato, being open & honest. It's also what makes me very unpopular with some people.

But I never knew bottles were so dramatic. I'm really relaxed about my kid. I don't freak out if people give him some candy or something else not great for him. You'd think one simple request turned rule of "no bottles" would be easy.

But hey, this isn't anything for you to worry about. Worse comes to worse, the family explodes from my facebook post, but even then you get a dramatic blog about it.

You're welcome.

So in other news, like I said, tomorrow we have an ultrasound appointment to make sure this baby has all the parts still & that they are functional & that blood supply is what it should be to all of them. I'm expecting some bad news, just because. I don't even know if I'll get news then, I guess we'll see tomorrow. Let's hope, I don't do "patience" very well.

At my last prenatal visit we discussed this upcoming scan & my gallbladder. I was suppose to have that checked out Monday, but we all know how that worked out. Eventually I'll get that done I guess. Also before my last prenatal, we went on an adventure. To where? To get my prizes.

Hooray, winner!

We pulled up & parked outside the lawyers office where we closed on our house.

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If I had known, I would have brought eggs.

Oh look, the radio station is in the same building as the bank we used to finance our house.

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Where the fuck are my eggs?!

Nothing better than walking in & seeing this.

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I guess that joke about escalators not breaking, they become stairs, isn't always true.

People came out of their offices to look at me. And ask to make sure Adam wasn't the guy I wrote about. I should have wore a shirt that said, "I'd date anyone in college!" But who cares, I got my prizes.

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And I really had no idea what they were.

But I found out, of course.

First up...

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A gift certificate to a spa. I get to be rubbed by strangers!

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A CD of music to have sex to. You know, if I had sex.

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A stack of gift certificates including...$50 in free flowers, a sex shop, an Avon lady, & a restaurant. Oh, & a free ice cream cake. Being pregnant I'm all like, "Lets go get this fucking ice cream cake NOW!" but Adam said we had to go to the doctor. Boooo.

Also in the bag was a ring.

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Because I am 12.

And a bottle opener.

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Because they heard my son liked bottles & thought he meant more adult ones.

Then I looked at Adam & said, "Be happy in your new car!"

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...we have to work on that "be happy" face.

As we wait forever at the doctors office, see that they got a new bottle for their lubrication.

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I'm convinced they read my blog. BTW, I checked those cabinets, too. They also have keys. Hmmmm....

Finally, a knock came at the door. I'm excited, I'm almost done & able to leave!

Nope, it's a resident.

He was nice though. Made small talk. Likes the name Blair. Thinks my mom is weird for wanting to name a boy Cheyenne. Life was good.

When he walked out of the room, I asked Adam who he looked like. I knew it was someone, but I couldn't think of it. When he told me, I gasped then laughed hysterically, because it was very true.

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He was really nice though! So nice I almost feel bad making fun of him. Almost.

More waiting.

Doctor finally comes in & talks. He feels of my gallbladder, orders the ultrasound. Orders another ultrasound at his office, which is next Tuesday. Also tells me they'll do my glucose test that day as well, so I have a few more days to figure out how to cheat that one. Fun times.

After that, we head to Loagans.

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Because nothing says I have gallbladder problems like nachos with chili, cheese, & all sorts of other things you should avoid.

After that we went to Target, where I found Hello Kitty.

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And some guy was trying to find paper towels.

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Adam found a giant reese's egg.

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It was like he saw my boobs for the first time all over again.

Then he was confused, because he found a bag of small ones & didn't know if he should get those or go with the big egg.

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I feel like this is what he did when choosing between me & his ex-girlfriend...her little reese's to my big reese's.

Much like me, the big egg won him over & went home with him.

Make a inappropriate joke about eating now if you'd like.

We browsed the baby section, where I kindly reminded Adam that it's alright that he doesn't make baby girls.

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Then I found a hat.

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We then ran (well, walked, you should know I don't run) to a craft store. I made friends.

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Adam took this picture because he thought it was funny.

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...

I finally found cute letters for Blair's name on the wall...only for them not to have the letter "E."

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Grrrr.

I did finally find letters though. This is a phone picture of them, I'll get a better one once I actually finish them.

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I'm crafty.

So hopefully tomorrow brings good news. Or at least good stories.

6 comments:

  1. Oh crap- did I spell Blair's name with an "e" last time I talked to you. I'm sorry. Another fab post. Sending good vibes for tomorrow. Let us know via fb, at least. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ummm...if you did, I sure didn't notice. So let's say you didn't. :)

    And I shall post something on the ol' FB once the scan is done. My appointment isn't until 3pm EST, so I'm guessing I'll get out around 4.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So what is your Mom's plan long term? I mean, she isn't planning on staying alienated from her daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren on a long term basis, is she? Has something like this happened before? Does she cool off after a bit?

    ReplyDelete
  4. My mom's long term plan has always been to be right, more right than everyone else.

    She's not done so well in her life at meeting that long term plan.

    And this is a constant cycle with my mom. She chills out after a week or so usually. She gets in cycles where she's in a mood where it's more likely to happen every 6 months or so. We're in the middle of one right now...obviously.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jess, I can only imagine the scene with Jules yelling and screaming for a bottle. I have to admit I laughed as I was reading this, but I am sure it wasn't funny on your end. :(

    Hoping all goes well with your ultrasound and tht things work themselves out with your mom.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's actually the saddest thing ever. I'm a total wimp, so I hate seeing him upset. That's actually my main problem...as much as I hate dealing with fits, I hate it for him more. But it's something I won't cave on because in the long run it's not good for him. A 2 year old doesn't get that though. :(

    ReplyDelete

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