Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Yay, 100.

This is Post #100. Be impressed…or feel bad for my boring life.

I figured I’d save the whole baking a cake & decorating with the #100 until I have 100 followers.

Yes, I’ll totally do that.

In my recent boredom, I read various other blog & found an idea to steal. I figure if you’re reading this & do so fairly often (can’t say I blame you), you may like to know a little more about me. Or a lot more. Random things. Even if you know me in the real world (lucky you), I’m sure most of this you don’t know, nor would you ever want or need to know. Including other dating tidbits, how I met my husband & things that I bet are too much information in general.

I now give you 100 things about ME.

1. I have a vagina. Big shocker there, I know.

2. I’m the crazy cat lady. And don’t make a pussy joke here. Seriously, we have 8 cats right now, more if you count the strays. We’ve had 2 pregnant strays we’ve taken in, one of which is expecting kittens any day now. People at Wal Mart got so annoying about asking why we buy so much cat food, we created a story about how we get a check from the city as an animal rescue for taking in & keeping several cats at a time. And they believe it.

3. I don’t like nosey check out people. I don’t want you to make commentary on everything I’m buying or even trying to talk me out of buying some things. Just scan the items & lets move on with life.

4. My husband didn’t want a cat. He didn’t like cats when we first got together. HAHAHAHAHA!

5. I had my parents convinced that I was working very hard on my senior project to graduate college my final semester & would be out working on it for hours. Working on it was actually me having a ridiculous amount of sex with the guy I was dating at the time…that is now my husband, btw. I did that project in a weekend, right before it was due, & got an A. So ha.

6. My parents are divorced…but never lived apart. They’ve been meaning to get remarried for years now, but never seem to get around to it. Weridos.

7. On my wedding day, my mother was distraught because part of my veil was missing…the 36 foot part she & the people at the bridal shop pressured me into getting. I pretended like it just wasn’t there. She still talks about how sad that makes her. Little did she or anyone else know, that my husband & I got it out & hid it under a seat in his car because I thought it was lame & chickened out of wearing it because I felt like an idiot in it. Hiding it was easier than fighting over it.
8. When my husband called to tell his parents I was pregnant with our first son, his father actually fell asleep during the conversation. His mom had to tell him later on what the news was.

9. I’m a hippy mom. I don’t give my kids their shots as “recommended” & I’m against circumcision & “crying it out” for sleep training. And we’re cloth diapering the new baby.

10. I never wanted kids at a point in my life.

11. I once was talked into an exercise called “hill running” by a friend after she saw on MTV that Beyonce did it. I did it twice. I couldn’t walk normally again for 2 weeks.

12. I don’t believe in running unless I’m being chased by a serial killer. And even then, it’s unlikely because chances are you’re going to die anyway. No reason to die sweaty & out of breath in my opinion.

13. I once dated a guy who hated Bob Seger. He was even a DJ & refused to play Bob Seger, even if he was hired & it was requested. To get on his nerves, I use to “confuse” Bob Seger with Bob Dylan, who he loved, just to screw with him.

14. Adam & I were once caught having sex in a car. By a cop. He didn’t care we were having sex, but just asked for us to leave city limits. He also asked if I was alright, which was funny since the position he caught us in…well, he should have been asking Adam that.

15. I use to be a size 5. Ugh. I’m not going “ugh” about being a size 5, that’s in response to the fact that I use to be & will likely never ever be again.

16. I have huge boobs that no one in my family has & that grew in a time period of maybe 8 weeks. I started 10th grade as maybe a B cup & by Halloween I was in a DD. I was in a C cup for a weekend. Hi, I’m a freak of nature. But I’ve got a nice rack.

17. In high school, all of my friends swore they didn’t have oral sex or sex in any way other than the missionary position, which left me feeling kinda sleezy. As an adult, I now realize they were either lying or having very boring sex lives. I should ask them. Maybe I will go to my high school reunion, just for that.

18. I didn’t care when Michael Jackson died & I’m still shocked that so many people still care after all these months.

19. If I did end up having kids, I didn’t want boys. Nope, no boys. Icky.

20. I get a huge kick out of people I didn’t like in school having miserable lives. I’m a bad person like that.

21. I’ve never won anything. Ever.

22. I have a huge fear that the IRS will audit us one day. I’m not sure why I’m scared since we have simple returns & I don’t cheat on them, but I’m still scared.

23. I dated a guy (yeah, another one) who thought he was fancy. He used the word “community” intead of neighborhood, “automobile” instead of car, & insisted on ordering “con caso” at the Mexican restaurant instead of cheese dip. And con caso isn’t even the right word, he was ordering “with cheese” which doesn’t even make sense. Idiot.

24. I met my husband online. Not like a dating site, we met through online friends who all met on a message board for a pro-wrestler. Yes, seriously. He happened to live an hour from me, but being scared of internet people we talked for FOUR YEARS before I finally agreed to meet him for lunch.

25. My husband already had a girlfriend when I decided after those FOUR YEARS that I might like to have sex with him. So while we were planning our first meeting on Christmas, he was at his girlfriends family get together, eating pie with her grandma & making small talk.

26. On our first date, my husband had this “great” story he couldn’t wait to tell me. It was about how he got up early that day to get a money order for his rent, but he couldn’t get it because the bank wasn’t open. He had to get it that day, since his rent was already 3 weeks late. I asked why he didn’t just go to the post office, he just stared at me because no one had ever told him they sold money orders at the post office.

27. After we met, & made out, my husband sent me an email basically asking if it would be alright if he could date me & his other girlfriend at the same time. He said, “I don’t even know if we can sit through a movie together yet.” I shot that suggestion down real fast.

28. The next day I believe, my husband broke up with his girlfriend at her apartment over Taco Bell. When she left the room crying, he decided to leave. He packed up his food & went home. He’s also admitted to wondering if he should have just taken her food, too, since she obviously wasn’t going to eat it.

29. I still married him, knowing all the above info.

30. I’m a little worried sometimes when we get Taco Bell.

31. Oh, he swore to his girlfriend there was no one else. Then like 2 weeks later we went out to eat…where her roommate worked. And saw us together.

32. I was very prepared to have a drink thrown on me or to be called a slut or whatever other words from this girl or any of her friends. I was actually surprised it never happened.

33. I’ve had my nipple pierced. What do you expect from a man stealing slut?

34. I don't think teens should have babies, but I love me some Teen Mom on MTV.

35. I can’t watch animal movies, even animated ones, because they make me too sad.
36. We once watch Benji The Hunted in elementary school & I got so upset I had to be sent home.

37. When I was a kid, I would hear the baseboard heaters clicking & be convinced that Chuckie from Childs Play was coming after me.

38. I slept with a nightlight until I was around 15.

39. To this day, any movies with something dead crawling will make me scared to go to the bathroom by myself at night.

40. Adam has been woke up several times to walk me to the bathroom at 3am.

41. When it came to Jon & Kate Plus 8, I always hated Jon & totally understood why Kate yelled so much.

42. I love coke. Not the drug, the drink. I’ve never done the drug, so I have no opinion of it. But I bet it’s still better than Pepsi.

43. I want to get a gun & Adam is all for people having guns…just not me. He says he’s scared I’ll shoot him.

44. Little does Adam know, if I shot him, who would I make fun of? In real life & this blog?

45. I find it amusing that my blog gets hits from where my husbands family lives. But they never read the blogs about happy things or pictures of our kids…they just read the things about them.

46. I don’t buy American cars. My mom use to sell them, she doesn’t believe in buying American cars after that either.

47. We just got a new SUV, woohoo! A Kia Sorento. It’s snazzy.

48. The Kia is actually the husbands new car, not mine. And it’s the first car he’s ever owned with leather seats, which I find odd.

49. In my life, with the 4 cars I’ve owned, I’ve always owned cars with leather seats. I’m spoiled like that.

50. I taught my son to point & laugh at the husband not too long ago. It’s great.
51. When my son was around 7 months old, he rolled out of the bed. Until it happened, I never got how parents let their kids fall out of the bed. Oops.

52. I just got a new couch & loveseat. I’ve never owned a loveseat until now. It’s always been a couch & a chair, to try to discourage people from staying too long at my house I suppose.

53. We’re officially white trash, because we currently have our old couch on our front porch.

54. I’m planning a blog on my new couch. Well, not my new couch as much as my old couch & all the shit we found in & under it. It’s shameful really, but I figure it’ll make people feel good about themselves when they see the insane mess we were sitting on.

55. When we went to Vegas, we let my dad come to the house & feed our cats & dog (then we just had the one). When we came home, we realized we came home to an extra cat in our house. Yes, seriously.

56. I would love to have a pet goat.

57. I love tax season because I love filling out forms. Even if we didn’t get a refund I’d love it…I just wouldn’t submit it until April 15th like everyone else who has to pay the government.

58. The worse thing about my house is it’s serious lack of closets. The only closets it has not in a bedroom are a tiny corner closet in the back extra room & a linen closet upstairs in the hallway, which is about 4 inches in depth. Fantastic.

59. Adam isn’t allowed to use my Dyson. I love my dyson vacuum, & he just seems to destroy it, one piece at a time. So he has a $50 Bissel that he is allowed to use instead. Not that he really cares, who do you think vacuums the most anyway?

60. In our almost 3 years of marriage, I’ve been pregnant during more of it than not pregnant.

61. I only eat with salad forks. I hate regular forks.

62. I’ve always hated the color green. I even had somewhat of a fear of green when my parents had green plates, which I couldn’t eat off of. I had to have my own plates that weren’t green.

63. My house is green. Go figure.

64. I’m basically for everything politically. I’m pro-choice, gay marriage, death penalty, gun control, government health care, & about anything else I can think of. I’m also one of those freaks who doesn’t mind the idea of cameras watching my every move if it means I’m less likely to get raped & murdered, left in a field somewhere & my killer goes free forever.

65. My son gets the occasional popsicle for breakfast until his real breakfast is done.

66. I’m scared of elevators. I imagine the lines breaking & me falling to my death.

67. I’m scared of stairs. It’s amazing I get anywhere off the first floor.

68. When mixing things, they can only be stirred clockwise. Otherwise, I freak out.

69. Up until a couple years ago, I obsessively counted words. Even during a movie, I would count words in lines. If I didn’t like the number of words, usually anything it was an even amount, I would rearrange the line & make it a better number of words.

70. I can’t use a blender. I try. My blender is a good one. But for some reason, I can never get anything to blend, minus the bit on the bottom around the blade.

71. All of our kitchen cabinets & drawers have child locks on them. Adam did it one day on his own. Yet he didn’t install one on the drawer we keep all the liquor in. Weird.

72. I can watch the same episodes of shows over & over again. There is no limit. I rather watch something I’ve seen & know I like, than something new that I may not like.

73. When it comes to critters, I’m kinda like Snow White. I’ve even had butterflies & birds land on me for no reason but my magic.

74. My house is located directly behind a state mental hospital.

75. When at the movies, I only sit to the left of Adam. If he’s on the left of me, it’s weird & I don’t like it. I also have to try to not sit too close to people, I don’t like people directly behind or in front of me. I have this paranoia about my purse being stolen.

76. I’m very honest. Don’t ask how your haircut looks if you don’t want the truth.

77. I’m still annoyed that people couldn’t send flowers to Joel’s funeral, but then put money in cards or envelopes for us. I’d much rather those people spent that $50 on flowers for me to remember at his funeral than whatever they thought we were going to do with it.

78. Not sure I ever mentioned this, but at my sons funeral my sister in law brought up her kids birthday & tried to get the husband to say he’d come. Perfect time for discussion of children’s parties, huh? I wasn't around at the time, good thing I wasn't.

79. I hate all condiments. I don’t even like to look at ketcup, mayo, or mustard. Mayo is the worse.

80. I don’t like to proof read. You may have noticed weird typos over the course of this blog.

81. I married an English teacher. Thankfully, he’s learned by this point not to try to proofread my blog & come back to me with editing suggestions.

82. I cut a chunk of my hair out from the bottom of my scalp in order for my husband to use it as a rats tail for his 80’s costume for his school today.

83. …today was a snow day. My hair, it’s just sitting upstairs in the bathroom.
84. Being married to a teacher makes you feel like a 5th grader again. You watch the news & check constantly to see if you’re going to get a snow day.

85. Our yard will not grow grass. It’s a constant battle to just not have a mud puddle in our front yard once spring hits. Here in a few weeks, we take on that challenge again.

86. I could eat my weight in sweet tarts.

87. I’ve had phone sex.

88. I get annoyed when I hear people teaching their kids “cute” names for their parts. It’s not a peepee, it’s a penis people.

89. I have a cat named Fat Tammy. She was just Tammy, but then she got fat. We also have a Sammy & Hammy. My best cat name was Tom Cat Hanks.

90. I don’t believe in equal rights. I think it’s a mans job to do yard work & anything I decide to be icky.

91. We feed raccoons. We also name them. They are nice. We’re hillbillys, aren’t we?

92. I once had a pet turkey. I named him Dinner.

93. I like to travel & see places…I just hate to fly to drive.

94. I get amused by women who talk about how it’s their job to get all pretty before their husbands get home. After most days we have around here, Adam is lucky he comes home & I’m here at all. It’s a fancy day for me if I’m wearing PJ pants that aren’t ripped in some way.

95. I compulsively check my online banking, fearing that someone has gotten our info & going to steal all of our money. All I’ve caught in my entire life has been a fake $2 charge. I also love how the bank will let me cancel Adam's debit card, but they won't let me reorder one for him as a replacement when I report his lost or stolen. So I can take away his bank card, but I can't give him a new one.

96. I’m way behind the times. I just started send text messages about 6 months ago, never really did it before. Now I text like 600times a month at least. At this rate, I’ll be ready for an iPhone in about 10 years, when no one cares anymore.

97. I actually like rodent like creatures, even mice. Unless they are running free in my house. Then I scream & hide like, well, a girl. But I don’t want to hurt them, I just want to ask them nicely to leave.

98. I take months to paint a room. Seriously. Our dining room took like 5 months before we actually finished it, same with our kitchen. Our extra bathroom was painted basically in a day…but it still needs touched up & over the shower painted. That was about 6 months ago.

99. Actually, our house is one big unfinished project. Eventually, we’ll get around to finishing everything. Like putting up the trim around the washer in our bathroom closet. We took it down to replace it when we bought the stackable washer. That was almost 2 years ago & we’re on our 2nd washer. It’s all there & ready, but for some reason a hamming nails just seems like too much work.

100. I love to talk about myself.

I'll get to working on the quiz about me ASAP for all of you to take to prove your dedication of reading this. You're welcome.

4 comments:

  1. I actually enjoyed reading all your things and I made it through ALL of them! Yay!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thouroughly enjoyed this :) lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. I found your blog from a post about your stray cat having kittens on BBC. I have to say that you have a new fan. I can seriously relate to about 87 of these.
    Nothing on my blog yet so no need to check it out.

    ReplyDelete

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