Friday, November 13, 2009

I won...the extended version.

Let's review real quick.

First, I was angry because a hospital sucked.

Then I asked for you peeps to get angry with me & give the hospital hell on our behalf.

And earlier, I posted that it had worked.

Caught up? Good. Now I'll give you the details.

I was contacted & told to expect a phone call around 2 from that Tom guy. About 2:15 or later I got that call. Tom along with some other important hospital rep to try to cool me off.

Tom started by telling me that "it's obvious that alot of people are angry over this issue" & asked me to tell him what had all gone on. I did. He hands it off to his witness...uh...I mean his legal rep...ummm...I mean, his other concerned co-worker who is very focused on the fact that they did in fact have a right to charge me for the autopsy. She wasn't on my good side for whatever reason & I wasn't on hers, it was clear. She tried to talk over me a bit I felt like, she came across as a bit defensive, & tried to explain to me that it's a confusing thing, an autopsy, because the hospital doesn't do alot of them. As she went on to try to tell me that they don't do alot, I spoke up &, with a laugh, said "trust me, how this has been handled I'm very aware that you guys must not do many of them at all." They both just sat in silence for a few moments, I think that's when they realized I wasn't in a great mood & I wasn't going to be bullshitted.

She went on to explain to me what "doa" was, but I interrupted her & told her I already knew. She said that they contact the county & state if cases of "healthy people dying without an exact cause unexpectedly" & they usually do those, not the hospital & that "your stillborn didn't fall into that category" unless I was "accosted" or in an accident.

Yes, she said "your stillborn." She continued to ramble on & on about how they were allowed to charge me, the supervisor last night misspoke, blah blah blah.

On a side note, I had already seen in my medical records that they'd contacted the county & the state, both declined to get involved with the case. So that made sense to me. Mind you, I think my unborn child should fall into an unexpected death of a healthy person, but he's just a fetus, so I guess that's why it doesn't count. He was never born, just a dead fetus.

Anyway, I sat there a moment & finally interrupted her with, "Well, fine, listen I don't care if my son who happened to be stillborn falls into that category or not, that's really besides the point to me right now. The real problem for me is that rightfully charged or not, your hospital has ignored me & pawned me off time & time again for months."

The guy spoke up & rambled a bit about how it wasn't right, it was a huge screw up & he was sorry for it. Then he added, "but sitting in front of us right now is a bill we've created for you."

Set off some fucking fireworks.

I tell him that's great, but it's sad that it's taken all of this & me contacting the media for them to give me something they could have given me months ago without any run around & that I need that paper ASAP since I only have 2 weeks to submit it to my insurance. He told me he would overnight it today if that would be best, I told him it would. The woman spoke up & confirmed my address, I again confirmed with her she'd send it overnight & she said she would.

Then Tom went back into how he was sorry about everything & to call him if there were any problems with what they send me, though we went over what it was & it is suppose to be what I need. As they were going over what was needed, the woman told me it was what they'd submit to insurance, so they assume that's what I need. I listed off the things then threw in, "you're a hospital, you bill insurance all the time, I'm sure know what all needs to be there in order to get paid."

I was kinda snarky at that point, I couldn't help it.

Of course, Tom really did seem nice & sorry about the situation, but he said something towards the end that I officially hate.

"I'm so sorry for your loss...but I know how you feel, I loss a child as well."

OK, let me discuss this for a moment.

I don't have a problem with people telling me they've also had a loss, but when you've fucked up? Is that suppose to make me feel more connected & less angry about the situation?

The lady I spoke to from Cabell Huntington Hospital actually said the same thing. Her mom loss a baby & she had a sad story her mom went through, I guess so I could see that I wasn't the only dead baby mom out there treated like shit. She also went on to tell me that "you may not know it, but many of our employees have had losses like yours."

Know what? Sorry about your loss as well, but really? REALLY? I can't help but to feel when people tell me things like that in a situation like I'm being screwed over by a hospital that they are telling me in a way that, "yes, this sucks, but all dead baby parents have bad things happen."

Trust me, I know this. But really. REALLY. I should have asked Tom, "Wow, sorry about that...which hospital fucked around with you & didn't give you a bill you asked about for almost 6 months?" I should have asked Cabell Huntington woman, "How many of your employees were refused medical treatment when they came to your hospital?" I mean, if we are going to bring up your loss when dealing with my loss & how you've made it so much worse & more complicated, I'd like to know how it really compares. I want to hear who made that pain worse, who was a torn in your side. Until you have a story about being shit on, do not tell me about your loss when talking about my loss & how you've made that even worse than it needed to be. And if you've really had something like this happen to you & you really know how I feel, how about making this process not suck? How about helping? Doesn't that give you more of a reason to treat us dead baby parents a little better?

Obviously not.

Oh yeah, I also didn't "lose" my baby. My baby died. Let's stop talking like we went to WalMart & couldn't remember what aisle we may have dropped him in. I didn't lose a cat. I don't get the option of posting ads & hanging up flyers to ask "Have you seen my baby?" & offer a reward. My baby died. Sorry if that word makes you uncomfortable, but you know what? Spending 5 months on the phone & writing letters talking about my sons autopsy makes me uncomfortable. If I can deal with that, you can deal with the fact that he's dead & not lost.

To think, I was always annoyed when people talked about "finding out the gender" because you don't find out the gender, you find out the sex. Sex is biological, gender isn't. I could bore you with some long explanation of the male & female spectrum, but I won't. Just remember it's not gender, it's sex. Stop trying to find another word to use because you're weird & don't like to use the word "sex." Could be worse, you could have to use a word like "death."

I'm rambling.


Problem solved. The masses were heard. We are getting our paperwork after 5 1/2 months. Now I get to fill out forms for insurance & talk about my sons autopsy with them as well.

I swear, when this is said & done, I never want to talk about an autopsy again. Ever.

1 comment:

  1. Jess, I am glad to hear you got the bill. what asses!! *hugs*



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