Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The days & weeks...they drag on.

I really have nothing to blog about. But I feel as though I'm neglecting my readers & I want to write something. I'm just not sure what.

I'll give it a shot anyway.

First, in a bit of an update, I told you about the angry letter I sent the hospital who was ignoring me & refusing to give me a bill for Joel's autopsy so I could submit it to insurance. If you don't remember or want to read my anger, check it out here.

I lie when I call it an update, as there is nothing to report. Mailed out 5 letters to different departments & supervisors almost a month ago & I've heard nothing. They really don't care. Part of me wants to take this further, to do something, but I'm really out of ideas. Part of me just wants to call & leave angry messages, but I know that wouldn't help anything. If they were going to do anything for me or contact me about this, they would have done it in the about 3 weeks since they received the letters. I really just can't get over it, part of me wondered if my letter was a bit too harsh but now with being ignored I kinda wish I cussed in it. Maybe that would make me feel better about it.

Or hey, anyone wanna start an angry letter writing campaign? I'd love to share the contact info with anyone who may want to send something. Seems lame to ask people online to send angry letters on behalf of me & my dead baby, but if they can just ignore me maybe they can't ignore people in numbers. Just a thought.

Pregnant still obviously. I've never been one to count each day of a pregnancy, I've had enough that it's really no big deal. But since becoming a dead baby mom I count the hours. I'm not even 8 weeks & I'm not sure how I'm going to survive this. I'm constantly paranoid & waiting for the ball to drop. That second ultrasound last week made me feel better, I don't worry I'm losing the baby anytime soon, but I'm still scared. Part of me wonders if Jules was a fluke for that guy I married & myself. What if this baby has something wrong, something fatal?

I've seen blogs from people who've had more than one loss, some have had more than one very late term loss. Those people are brave, I don't know if I could do it all over again if something bad happens this time.

I've been lucky enough to catch a cold a few days ago, so I'm still recovering from that. I'll blame the snot on my lack of entertaining blogs. Hopefully I'll bounce back soon & be as annoying as I ever was.


  1. I'd be happy to send an angry letter for you. You can shoot me an email at

  2. Jules was not a fluke, Joel was. You need to relax! I almost have heat, then you can come visit me, and check out the fireplace and hot tub :)

  3. How about making one last call the hospital telling them if they don't get their shit together and get you a bill in 24 hours you will make another phone call to the news reporter that interviewed you a little while back? Maybe that would light a fire inder someone's ass?!

    I know you don't know me...I'm here from the BBC! =)

  4. I've contacted the news, waiting to hear back actually.

    And I've made a new post with all the contact info, if people wanna jump on the angry bandwagon.

    And stop rubbing in the hot tub & fireplace, Valarie. :b



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